Making Cent$ is a monthly newsletter by Mira Katz dedicated to the taboo topics that affect creatives in business, with a focus in female founders, but still applicable for everyone. Best enjoyed with a cup of ☕️ and a 🥐.
Summer was glorious, and as it comes to an end I am already feeling nostalgic.
I am often pegged as an optimist, and endings might seem off-brand and negative.
Endings are so universal and so ubiquitous and yet not talked about enough.
I’m writing this at the end of a long Monday, with a candle lit on my desk and some soft instrumental music playing from my little desk speaker. This ending feels sweet and calm, but not all endings do.
The End of an Era.
When we go through a breakup or leave a job or sell a company — we literally end part of our life. We end a version of ourselves - and that can feel ROUGH. There is grief, there is mourning, there is sadness and sometimes despair and depression.
Why is that? Why do we dread the end?
Endings are natural.
Seasons change and one has to end so that the next one can begin.
But ending an era can mean losing part of who we thought we were - and the ego has a hard time with that. The ego is like “well, now that you lost that version of yourself, you’re nothing”. Or even worse “things won’t be any better, EVER AGAIN.” The ego is dramatic.
ending an era can mean losing part of who we thought we were - and the ego has a hard time with that.
Recognizing that your ego doesn’t know that things can actually get better in the next era is a very powerful tool. Lost your job? The next one may have a less toxic boss and pay better. Did you get dumped? Your next partner might be hotter and richer. Did someone quit on you? Your next hire might be more fun and qualified.
How about that, ego?
Endings in Relationships
We are in relationship with everyone we meet. They may have different labels (boyfriend, girlfriend, employee, boss, roommate, friend, co-worker), but the feelings they trigger when the relationship ends (sometimes suddenly) are of the same flavor: loneliness, rejection, betrayal, abandonment.
I believe the same things for partners as I do with employees: if they don’t want to be there, you don’t want them around either. When a person leaves your orbit, the space they leave creates a vacuum for someone more aligned to enter. That’s a really good thing.
if they don't want to be there, you don't want them around either.
The void
Before someone/something new comes along, there is an emptiness. The emptiness can be scary, dark, uncertain. I think part of why we hate endings is actually because we hate that post-ending-void feeling.
But, reader, if I may provide an alternative perspective: the void is your time to integrate that version of you and up-level.
A few questions you can ask yourself are:
- What flaw did I not see before, that I will look out for next time?
- What part did I play in this relationship that was positive?
- What part did I play in this relationship that was negative?
- What did I learn from this person?
Proper Endings
Now, if endings are inevitable, let’s at least be classy about it, right?
Feel it fully: Cry it out, punch something, scream into the abyss. Feeling is good. Emotions are like waves, you can trust that they will swell and then die down.
Be kind, as much as possible: There may be anger and resentment in the mix, but kindness leaves an openness for communication, which can be healing to both sides.
Give yourself time: just like a physical wound, emotional pain takes time to heal. Be patient, be slow, and be soft with yourself.
Then what?
I saved the best for last. I actually have a secret to tell you.
Sometimes the ending is also the beginning.
Sometimes what may feel like the ending of a friendship is actually the start of a very different and much healthier one. Sometimes the end of a relationship is the start of a beautiful lifelong friendship. Sometimes the end of a job is the start of a new fulfilling career. Sometimes the end of a business project is the very same seed that gives fruit to something entirely different and way more aligned and exciting than the original version.
The more easily we can let things end, the more easily we can welcome what comes next.
So, as summer comes to an end, what is being planted for you? Can you feel something deep in the earth, deep in yourself that is growing? Can you feel how much you’ve already evolved from all the things that have ended before? I sure can, and I hope you can too.
I hope this makes sense,
Mira
Oh... the team is growing!
